Last Wednesday morning I started the day at a meeting with a group of local pastors from the area where I live. I was talking to them about the isolation experienced by many who live with disabilities, as well as their families, and the difficulties they encounter. During the meeting, I mentioned that the people we serve at Bridge range as high as 90 years of age.
90 years old. To put that in perspective, a 90 year-old today was born at the beginning of the Roaring 20’s - the time of flappers, the Charleston, raccoon coats, Model T’s and art deco.
The 90 year-old I was thinking of at the meeting was Clare, one of Bridge’s Guardianship clients. As of that day, Bridge was Guardian to 39 indigent clients including Clare: making sure they are properly housed and well cared for, processing their paperwork, paying their bills, making sure they have recreational opportunities and visiting them regularly. What I didn’t know until I got back to the office from the meeting was that Clare had passed away right about when I mentioned him in the meeting.
Upon learning that Clare was gone, I reflected that while we were all enjoying dinner and dancing at the Rock ‘n Roll Dance last Saturday, one person who would normally be eager to sit at table with us was in his final days. We missed Clare at the dance, our eldest guardianship client and the guy with the best appetite in the place. Clare loved food! He would finish his dinner and dessert and look for more, every time.
Clare had been in and out of the hospital in recent months, but he had maintained his appetite throughout. In fact, the Friday night before the dance, he had his usual good appetite and enjoyed his dinner. However, Clare finally missed a meal on Saturday morning when he didn’t have breakfast. That was the beginning of the end. He began his final decline, staying in bed until he passed peacefully on the morning of my meeting.
I had a long talk with Clare’s Guardian, Gordon, the next day. He filled me in on Clare’s history a bit. I learned Clare was diagnosed with mental retardation, having a mental age of 7-10 years, and lived in state institutions from the age of 5-1/2 until his mid-50’s. Clare was a very active person, able to walk all over Seattle, which he did nearly every day until he began having trouble with weakness in his legs and back problems. He liked his independence, but was also very social. He liked children and enjoyed living in the Adult Family Home where he’s resided for several years because there were always children around. His hobby was needlework, and I discovered it was he who made the rug that I’ve so often seen hanging in the Bridge conference room.
Gordon began taking Clare to Sunday Evening Celebrations in July of 2007 as a volunteer. With his back and leg problems, Clare now needed help to get there. It was a laborious process. Somebody had to drive to his house, push him to the car in a manual wheelchair, help him into the car, fold the heavy chair and put it in the car, and then when they got to the event take the chair out, open it, help Clare into it and push him inside to a table. Then after the Celebration was over, the whole process had to be reversed.
This was a lot of work…especially since Clare was a big guy who stood over six feet, and I'm sure Gordon would be the first to acknowledge that he's not exactly a spring chicken any longer himself. But he kept doing it month after month, and continued after Bridge hired him as a Guardian, for as long as Clare was able to make the trip. They had developed a relationship and it was important to Gordon to get him there because he knew how important it was to Clare.
When I began recruiting volunteers for Bridge, I tried to find a volunteer who would be willing to do this task and give Gordon a break, but without luck. I felt bad about that at the time, but I know Gordon is now glad he was able to share those experiences with Clare. And Clare was very lucky to have such a dedicated friend and Guardian in Gordon. I can only hope and pray that my autistic son, now 15, will be so fortunate when mom is no longer around to look after him.
Even now, Gordon continues to act on behalf of Clare as he makes preparations for a respectful funeral and memorial service with our Chaplain Dave. In fact, the entire Bridge staff has been helpful in gathering photos and biographical information for this article and for the memorial, and carrying out the many tasks associated with Clare's passing and interment. We've shared about him and prayed for him at our weekly staff meetings during his illness, and now we pray for his soul's safe journey to be with the Lord. We all knew him and we all cared about him. Clare is a member of our family. He has enriched our lives, and we will miss him.
Clare Bailey
October 30, 1920-April 13, 2011
