First Communion

Last week at church, my son took communion for the first time. This was a really exciting moment, as we had been attending this church since last fall, and he had always refused. He is allergic to the gluten in the wheat bread normally offered, but that wasn't the reason. Our pastor had long since obtained a gluten free host and had offered it Sunday after Sunday along with the sacramental grape juice, but he had never betrayed the slightest interest.

Then all of a sudden last Sunday, he indicated that he wanted to take communion. It caught us unawares and unprepared. The pastor had neglected to put out the gluten free host that time, probably thinking my son would once again refuse. After all, he had offered it month after month, and the answer had always been the same. No. But this time, almost as if he was a bit miffed at not being included, he stepped forward and gestured towards the plate with the unleavened bread on it with a questioning look.

Everyone froze. We stared at him to make sure we understood what he wanted. After a moment it sunk in. He wasn't refusing this time. He wanted to participate in communion with us! Our pastor ran to the closet where we store such things, and quickly located the gluten free host and ran back to the communion table. He placed a few gluten free wafers on the plate, then carried it to my son with the goblet of grape juice. Slowly and deliberately, as he had watched us all do on so many Sundays, my son picked up the gluten free wafer, dipped it in the grape juice, and popped it in his mouth. It was an amazing sight to behold, and we were all rapt by it.

Why did my son suddenly decide at that moment that he wanted to take communion for the very first time? The truth is, I may never know. My son has autism and a communication disorder, so it can be difficult to discern his thoughts and feelings. One thing I do know though - this was a definite sign that he wanted to belong. And it was also a sign of trust. My son has issues around food that make it difficult for him to eat around people he does not know well, or if he doesn't feel safe. And it's common for him to refuse to taste something edible, even when he's reassured that he's not allergic to it.

The fact that we had attended this church for so long made this event that much more remarkable. It took ten months for my son to get to this point. Change is slow with autism. I'm sure a large factor in his level of comfort and trust increasing is the fact that this church is exceptionally inclusive of people who live with disabilities. My son belongs to a church that values him as a whole person of spirit, a church where he sees many people with disabilities and their family members at every meeting. They welcome him, and he welcomes them. His pastor is the father of a boy who also lives with autism. I'm sure that helps too.

Drumming at Church

But probably the most important reason my son feels he truly belongs in this church is that his behavior is not judged, criticized or ridiculed there. If he feels like staying clear across the room, far from the group during the singing and instrument playing and talking - he does. If he feels like laying on pillows on the floor right in front of the pastor during worship - he does. Anytime he makes a sound, no matter what's going on at the time, there is an accepting response from the pastor or from some other member of the congregation. He can wander into the middle of the bible study to show mom his new craft project anytime he wants. No one bats an eyelash and the pastor doesn't skip a beat.

While I can't be sure how much of the communion ritual my son understands, time has taught me that he understands a good deal more than he appears to. Regardless, I am certain that he feels accepted, included, welcomed. We both do. And he doesn't have to change who he is for that to happen.

Jesus took some bread and blessed it. Then he broke it in pieces and gave it to the disciples, saying, “Take this and eat it, for this is my body.” And he took a cup of wine and gave thanks to God for it. He gave it to them and said, “Each of you drink from it, for this is my blood, which confirms the covenant between God and his people. It is poured out as a sacrifice 

to forgive the sins of many.

Open Gathering Christian Church is a new church 

of the Disciples of Christ (Christian Church) in Bellevue, Washington. 

Pastor J.C. Mitchell is also a member of the board of Bridge Disability Ministries.