First Communion

Last week at church, my son took communion for the first time. This was a really exciting moment, as we had been attending this church since last fall, and he had always refused. He is allergic to the gluten in the wheat bread normally offered, but that wasn't the reason. Our pastor had long since obtained a gluten free host and had offered it Sunday after Sunday along with the sacramental grape juice, but he had never betrayed the slightest interest.

Then all of a sudden last Sunday, he indicated that he wanted to take communion. It caught us unawares and unprepared. The pastor had neglected to put out the gluten free host that time, probably thinking my son would once again refuse. After all, he had offered it month after month, and the answer had always been the same. No. But this time, almost as if he was a bit miffed at not being included, he stepped forward and gestured towards the plate with the unleavened bread on it with a questioning look.

Everyone froze. We stared at him to make sure we understood what he wanted. After a moment it sunk in. He wasn't refusing this time. He wanted to participate in communion with us! Our pastor ran to the closet where we store such things, and quickly located the gluten free host and ran back to the communion table. He placed a few gluten free wafers on the plate, then carried it to my son with the goblet of grape juice. Slowly and deliberately, as he had watched us all do on so many Sundays, my son picked up the gluten free wafer, dipped it in the grape juice, and popped it in his mouth. It was an amazing sight to behold, and we were all rapt by it.

Why did my son suddenly decide at that moment that he wanted to take communion for the very first time? The truth is, I may never know. My son has autism and a communication disorder, so it can be difficult to discern his thoughts and feelings. One thing I do know though - this was a definite sign that he wanted to belong. And it was also a sign of trust. My son has issues around food that make it difficult for him to eat around people he does not know well, or if he doesn't feel safe. And it's common for him to refuse to taste something edible, even when he's reassured that he's not allergic to it.

The fact that we had attended this church for so long made this event that much more remarkable. It took ten months for my son to get to this point. Change is slow with autism. I'm sure a large factor in his level of comfort and trust increasing is the fact that this church is exceptionally inclusive of people who live with disabilities. My son belongs to a church that values him as a whole person of spirit, a church where he sees many people with disabilities and their family members at every meeting. They welcome him, and he welcomes them. His pastor is the father of a boy who also lives with autism. I'm sure that helps too.

Drumming at Church

But probably the most important reason my son feels he truly belongs in this church is that his behavior is not judged, criticized or ridiculed there. If he feels like staying clear across the room, far from the group during the singing and instrument playing and talking - he does. If he feels like laying on pillows on the floor right in front of the pastor during worship - he does. Anytime he makes a sound, no matter what's going on at the time, there is an accepting response from the pastor or from some other member of the congregation. He can wander into the middle of the bible study to show mom his new craft project anytime he wants. No one bats an eyelash and the pastor doesn't skip a beat.

While I can't be sure how much of the communion ritual my son understands, time has taught me that he understands a good deal more than he appears to. Regardless, I am certain that he feels accepted, included, welcomed. We both do. And he doesn't have to change who he is for that to happen.

Jesus took some bread and blessed it. Then he broke it in pieces and gave it to the disciples, saying, “Take this and eat it, for this is my body.” And he took a cup of wine and gave thanks to God for it. He gave it to them and said, “Each of you drink from it, for this is my blood, which confirms the covenant between God and his people. It is poured out as a sacrifice 

to forgive the sins of many.

Open Gathering Christian Church is a new church 

of the Disciples of Christ (Christian Church) in Bellevue, Washington. 

Pastor J.C. Mitchell is also a member of the board of Bridge Disability Ministries.

Just Go With The Flow

This interview/article is a continuation of the Caregiving Project of our Roots 'n Wings Support Group for people who live with physical disabilities.

I recently interviewed one of the people we serve at Bridge about her experience with caregiving through the years. Her name is Ardis Lawrence, and she has been actively involved with Bridge for well over two decades. Ardis has had cerebral palsy since birth, so caregivers have always been in the picture for her. Now in her 60's, she looks back on her life and contemplates how interwoven caregiving has been with the fabric of her daily existence.

Ardis had family caregivers as a child, and lived at home with her parents through high school. She grew up accustomed to needing help, and having caregivers to help her. But as her parents aged, the roles gradually changed somewhat. She found herself doing more of the reminding as her parents ability to remember declined. She also took on some of the chores she could handle when needed, like doing the family laundry the time her mom had foot surgery. As her parents' needs increased over time, the family added a paid cleaning helper into the mix, and her sister helped more often as well. In her house, people in the caregiver role were always coming and going.

As Ardis shared the flow of her life history, and how the various caregivers she'd known threaded through it all, I finally got an answer to a mystery. As long as I've known her, which is about five years now, Ardis' email address has referenced a 'farm girl'. I always wondered what that was all about. Why farm girl? Well, during our interview I discovered that her family lived on a dairy farm near Lynden, Washington when Ardis was a girl. I had not realized she'd grown up in a rural area, and her practical outlook suddenly made a lot of sense. Every farmer I've ever known has been nothing if not practical.

Eventually, Ardis’ parents decided to sell their farm and move to Bothell. They bought a house there, and Ardis lived with them. Then, as aging inevitably crept in, the time came when her parents needed to move into a long-term care facility. At that point Ardis began an effort to find housing that would work for her, not realizing what a long and difficult process that can be for someone living with a disability who has never lived on their own. There were some false starts, and she learned the hard way that advance planning for the time parents can no longer provide care and housing is necessary to avoid a crisis.

To begin with, Ardis lived in a series of group homes over about 6 months time, and then tried living in her own apartment in Lynnwood where a paid caregiver came in 4-5 days a week to help her. But after living alone for nearly 3 years, she developed problems with depression and anxiety. So when she was invited by an old friend to move to an adult family home near Mill Creek in 1998, she tried that for awhile. And on it went...

Finally, in 2010 Ardis moved into brand new adult family home, where she was the only resident for awhile. She lives there still, and now shares the home with five other residents. A couple owns this home and live in their own place right next door. In addition, a full-time caregiver lives in 24 hours a day, 5 days a week. The owners have two children of their own living with them as well, so it's a busy place.

While living in her current home, Ardis has been learning to communicate directly with her paid caregivers because her sister and brother-in-law began to have more serious health needs of their own and didn't have as much time and energy to give. Since the caregivers don’t know her as well as her sister does, she has to adjust to the caregivers' way of doing things. Due to her disability, communication can take a long time - Ardis has to repeat herself a lot, and persevere in order to be understood. She is learning to be assertive without being annoying to her caregivers, but it’s a balancing act.

A friend from church she has known for 24 years has done more and more for Ardis over the years, so her sister ended up hiring her to be a part-time caregiver. These days Ardis relies on her to help with shopping, running errands and giving her rides to church, meetings and appointments a few times a week. In fact, this caregiver brings Ardis to Bridge's monthly Roots 'n Wings Support Group meetings.

When asked her preference between family and paid caregivers, Ardis said she likes not having to be so dependent on family members and she’s getting used to having paid caregivers. As she gets older she finds she likes being more independent in that way. 

When asked if there was a difference in quality of caregiving between family and paid caregivers, she said that she liked being home all the time with family when she was young, but as she grows older it’s more important to her to have the independence. She also prefers caregivers who have had mental health training because they can communicate with her in a way that helps her open up and be more candid with people about her feelings.

When asked to describe her worst experience with a caregiver, she described a relationship she had with a caregiver who seemed to be paranoid and often thought Ardis was ‘setting her up’ to get in trouble with the group home that employed her. She also mentioned another caregiver who didn’t believe her when she said she was sick, and got angry at her. Her friend and sister advocated for and protected her, and she lived in her sister’s house for a month before moving to her present home.

I asked her how that felt – not being trusted, not being believed – and she said it had a bad effect on her mental health for awhile, but it forced her to learn to cope.

Because of who she is, because of where she needs to live, caregivers have learned that Ardis is an unusual person – she teaches people how to take care of her. Sixty-five years of living with cerebral palsy and getting used to dealing with caregivers has made her a philosopher. She accepts that things will not always be her way, and tries to see other people’s point of view. Most of all, she has learned to gain more control over her emotions.

When asked about her best experience with caregiving, Ardis shared fond memories of the staff in her first adult family home that were willing to take her on long trips to Whidbey Island. Ardis has also learned much about the world through her relationships with caregivers. She knows people from distant locales and varied ethnic backgrounds. She reminisced about caregivers from Ethiopia, who taught her a lot about their home in Africa and their customs.

To wrap up the interview, I asked Ardis what she would like people to know about caregivers in general. She said, if she could find a caregiver that could meet 90% of her needs, that would be a good thing! But she also knows she couldn’t be a caregiver herself, because she would try too hard. She would be too much of a perfectionist with details. She doesn’t feel the best caregivers get hung up on the details. In her opinion, they need a more relaxed attitude than she has. They need to be able to just go with the flow.

As we finished the interview, I found myself reflecting that we could all probably stand to...sometimes...just go with the flow. Many of us spend much of our lives trying to impose our will on people and things around us - often without success - and possibly that energy could be better spent in another way. If going with the flow makes one a better caregiver, where else might it be beneficial in our lives? As always, the Farm Girl Philosopher with her practical, homespun wisdom left me with something to chew on.

Only God gives inward peace,

    and I depend on Him.

Psalm 62:5

Note of Interest:  Ardis is one of the original members of Roots 'n Wings, and 
had the honor of paying tribute to our founder, Rev. Henk Wapstra, 
at our 2014 Breakfast of Champions.

Warmth for Winter

It's cold, wet and mostly dreary lately. Typical for this time of year in the Pacific Northwest. Despite the fact that I'm originally from Alaska, I'm really not crazy about the cold weather. And I'm especially not crazy about immersing myself in cold water. But I have a teenage son named Lucas who lives with autism, and he can tolerate swimming in very cold water - much, much colder than I can. I'm often amazed at his tolerance for cold. But even he is forced to wait now for spring to come so he can swim outdoors again.

 

Lucas asks me every day to promise that the sun will return and that he will get to go swimming in the lake again, and I promise him "Yes, Lucas. Yes, the sun will return and I will take you to the lake to go swimming again." And he holds on tight to that reassuring promise of the sun's return so he can bask in its warmth again. 

Lucas of the Lake

Yes, winter is the time of year that we must cling to our memories of the warm sunshine and hang on tight to the promise of spring. But, despite the cold, I was recently warmed by an article written by a frequent attendee at our Sunday Evening Celebrations - only from the inside. I'll share it with you today in the hope that this sunshine for the soul will warm you as well.

Got Some Summer Fun? by Alex Motteler

On a sunny day in July, people with wheeled contraptions gathered for a field day at Lake Washington High School. Bikes, wheelchairs, and other devices were the means with which we could get around the track. Unloading into the parking lot, we were directed to a barbecue near the track where the games would be held. After a meal of hamburgers, hot dogs, and chips, it was time to begin the big games. Some of the older people just stood in the sidelines while most of us chose to go onto the track and participate. Split into four teams: red, green, yellow, and blue; we were ready to take part in these crazy activities. While we were doing this, people were putting on sunscreen and preparing for a big day in the sun. Most chose to participate while others chose to sit on the sidelines and watch the craziness. It was a great day!

In a relay race style, the teams made their way to various stations. Playing a silly game at each station, our wheelay team made the rounds. There was a cheese puff toss, where a teammate put shaving cream on, so we could throw cheese puffs at a team member; a hoop hooping game, where we had to dodge people throwing water balloons at us, an obstacle course for our contraption to navigate, and an event to see if we could blow a bubble. Additionally, we finished the day with a victory lap. Running around the track of the high school, we celebrated another successful field day. Medals were handed out since we were all winners. We were all thankful to have sunny weather. Although there wasn’t the Bridge birthday hat, we were all made to be special. It was a blast for all participants!

The barbecue and games made for a wonderful afternoon to catch up on friends, enjoy the outdoors, and be competitive. Well, maybe not the latter part. Where else can you throw cheese puffs, rush through a water fight and navigate obstacle courses? Each summer Bridge does an extended celebration where we play “wacky” games. When summer comes, there are no excuses for not being outside and doing things.

Wacky Wheelays was only the first outdoor event hosted by Bridge Ministries this summer. At Game Farm Park in Auburn, another summer Barbeque with a karaoke machine occurred. Silly songs were sung as we ate hamburgers grilled by Sunshine Ministries. We even had a chance to celebrate anybody who had a summer birthday. Volunteers worked the grill as people got up to the karaoke and sang. Carrying the message that God’s love is for all of us, we enjoyed listening to the songs that people were brave enough to sing into the machine. It was a great way to spend time outside!

Alex waiting in line for the relay race & raring to go!

It is like a bridegroom coming out of his chamber,

         like a champion rejoicing to run his course.

It rises at one end of the heavens 

         and makes its circuit to the other;

                  nothing is deprived of its warmth.      

Psalm 19:5-6 

Over the Moon

On a Saturday in April, one of my longstanding dreams came true. For many years I've dreamed of working with church and other community volunteers to meet one of the most desperate needs of one of the most under-served groups of people living with disability out there - respite for families living with autism. Year after year as we planned transition retreats for families with special needs youth transitioning from school to adult life, my voice must have felt like the drip, drip, drip of water torture to my co-workers - "respite, respite, respite - there is nothing you can do that would be more meaningful or helpful to these families than providing respite!" Well, finally this April I got a chance to see this dream come to fruition. Bridge put on its first Spectrum Respite Retreat for Tweens and Teens with Autism.

Being the single parent of a child living with autism and a communication disorder, I know the challenges and needs of these parents all too well. Exhaustion is caused by 24/7/365 hyper-vigilance as we try to keep our kids safe and healthy, rarely getting a break due to our broken social services system which has huge holes in the 'safety net'. It's hard to explain what it's like to NEVER be able to turn off the fretting and worrying, to have difficulty getting enough sleep - or even resting while asleep.

Most parents of kids with autism are plagued by anxieties the average parent could never even imagine dealing with. Some have kids who have to be watched like a hawk or they will wander off and end up in danger, some have kids who are bullied at school, some have kids who will tear up anything they can get their hands on, and others have kids who self-harm. These vulnerable kids are often extremely anxious as well, which can cause outbursts of violence if their behavior is not watched closely and managed carefully by knowledgeable people during all their waking hours.

One of the hardest things about offering respite for parents of kids with autism is simply that they're good parents. They love their kids dearly, and want to make sure they are safe from harm. So they aren't willing to leave their kids with just anybody. The very idea of leaving them with strangers seems at first blush totally ludicrous to a parent who knows just how complex their needs are. I knew that would be a hard sell, no matter how desperate the parents were to get a break - but I still wanted to try.

Our first step was to advertise the upcoming retreat. I designed a flyer that I hoped would entice parents to at least call for more information. We distributed the flyer through the primary conduits of information to local families of kids with autism - email listservs, disability websites, community calendars, etc. Then when the parents called, I spent as much time as necessary talking to each one, even if it meant hours. I told them I was the parent of a teenager with autism myself, and understood their feelings. That went a long way toward thawing their reserve. I learned everything I could about their child: What they liked, what they disliked, their common behavioral issues, how they communicate, etc. As the parents talked, I took notes. Aside from intake, I also developed a registration process geared for this type of event and the people we would be serving.

In designing and executing the kids' program we partnered with other community disability, faith and volunteer organizations. From Seattle Children's Autism Center we got input and resources for our program for the kids, as well as behavioral coaching for volunteers on the day of the event. Bethesda Lutheran Communities and HeART of the Spectrum each provided an activity station appropriate for kids on the spectrum. Band of Brothers Northwest provided volunteer support, including a buddy for each of the kids to hang out with, and they recruited several members of Redmond Chorale to join them. Holy Spirit Lutheran Church of Kirkland hosted the event, provided funding and a team of volunteers. We also had several of our wonderful Bridge volunteers helping out as well.

We planned to use the entire downstairs of the church for the retreat, including the large preschool classroom, the library, the theater, and the wide hallways. This better enabled us to control points of exit - vitally important since some people with autism tend to wander. The activity stations were set up the night before the event, with tables and chairs spaced out to avoid crowding, which people with autism often find stressful. It was our intention to put as little pressure on the kids as possible, letting them wander from activity to activity as it suited them. People with autism can get stressed out by transitions from one activity to another, and we didn't want to spike any behavioral outbursts by forcing transitions when they weren't ready.

Before the participants arrived, a training session for the volunteers was held in the theater. They were coached on the common characteristics found amongst people with autism, and how to interact successfully with these sensitive folks. Then the volunteers who were to be buddies were assigned their buddy, and each was given a lanyard to wear around their neck. The lanyards held cards that had the name of a registered kid, 10 helpful things to know about them, and 3 suggestions for dealing with behavior. With these lanyards around their necks, each volunteer buddy would have helpful information at their fingertips throughout the retreat. The next step was for the volunteers to take a tour of the activity stations to familiarize themselves with the options they would have. Thus prepared, the volunteers waited for their buddies to arrive, the lights were dimmed and everyone quieted down - noise and bright lights can also be quite stressful to those on the spectrum.

As the participants arrived, a photo was taken of each kid with the parent(s) who dropped them off, and their names were written on it. This was to ensure that they were given to the proper person when they were picked up. Many of these kids were non or partially verbal, and could not tell us whether the person picking them up was their parent. Since we didn't all know every family well, we were taking no chances. Each kid was introduced to their volunteer buddy, then they all went downstairs together - buddies together with parent(s).

The first stop was the PECS (Picture Exchange Communication System) station. Here each child was given a cardboard strip with a row of Velcro tabs on it. They then chose from Velcro-backed pictures of each available activity and decided what they wanted to do, and in what order. Putting them on the cardboard strip in a row, they created their schedule for the day. The PECS strips are a common feature of special needs classrooms and programs, and most kids on the spectrum are familiar with them. They make kids with autism feel less anxious because they know what to expect, and they also give the kids a feeling of control which is reassuring. They had the option of changing their schedule anytime they wanted to, so they weren't locked in if they changed their mind.

The kids chose from a variety of activity stations including: Trampoline jumping, board games and toys, Disney movies, Game Boys, taking a break in a tent full of pillows or on the giant bean bag chair, creating an art project, a Sunday School activity or sensory activities. They also scheduled when they'd like to insert a lunch break, and there was a designated place where they were free to eat the lunch they'd brought with them anytime they wished. During this process the parents were telling the volunteer buddies anything they felt would be helpful for them to know in dealing with their individual kid. Watching anxiously to make sure their young ones were ready to launch, they gradually peeled away one by one - going off to do their chosen activity for their 3 hours of freedom.

I'm not going to lie and tell you this thing went off without a hitch. There were definitely hiccups in the plan that required rapid decision making, change in direction, and adaptation to real time events. There were moments when kids were stressed out and needed to withdraw, but we anticipated that and provided places for them to do that. Being in an entirely new environment with a bunch of total strangers is not easy for a kid living with autism. But amazingly, only one child had to leave altogether due to high anxiety. We're hoping next time we'll be able to smooth his arrival experience and enable him to stay for the entire event. The thing is, every time we do one of these respite retreats, we'll get better at it. But for a first try, we didn't do too badly: 20 parents got a break from the demands of parenting a child with autism, and 22 kids on the spectrum had a 3 hour program of appropriate activities. On the whole, the feedback from kids and parents was that they had a pretty good experience and they'd do it again.

The feedback from the volunteers was also good. Overall they felt this was a very rewarding way to spend part of a Saturday. I heard over and over as they left that they wanted to be invited to participate when we do another respite retreat. It was clear that they could definitely see the need and felt good about being able to contribute in that way. 

As for me? Well, I'm just over the moon.

For more photos please see our Facebook photo album.

What moves you?

Shared by former Bridge Chaplain Dave Emery

As I move away from Bridge, I realize again a number of things which may be worth sharing here.

Saying goodbye is not as important as saying hello. We are frequently moving through life with change and loss. I am quite amazed at how those I love with disabilities are great examples of this. In so many ways they show us that change is a way of life not something to be avoided ignored or feared. Simply seen most of those with disabilities need caregivers to assist them in a few or many ways. Most of these caregivers come and go throughout their lives frequently. Still, the way in which we get attached to people and circumstances is no different here than anywhere else. Often great friendships and bonding take place with these task performers that give of their time efforts and care. Yet, the turnover is extremely high with many of these folks. Letting go and starting all over again happens repeatedly. What I have witnessed and what I commend to you here and now is the way in which new relationships happen at a deeper level more quickly for most, and what a real benefit it would be for all of us to learn this as well.

Unpaid friendship is a gift.  Those of you who have gotten to know me over the last few years know how crucial I feel companionship truly is. People who walk beside us and don't try to fix us change us shape us or solve all our problems are a rarity and an incredible blessing when they appear and join us. Accepting us as we are. Sharing in silence and listening to us even if there are no words is such a blessing. Feeling with us what we face along life's journey; without taking on our burdens sorrows or hardships is amazing. Choosing to see us, listen to us, accept us, put up with our idiosyncrasies and differences, and staying with us even when we sometimes push them away or ask for too much is incredible. These are those we can really be ourselves with and truly party and celebrate with in such fun ways.

Some have said that if you aren't moving forward you are moving backwards. I say that is nonsense. Most of us just don't want to move. We stay where we are as long as can trying to keep everything the same and doing the best we are able. Yet, we find out this is impossible and frequently we keep doing it anyway even when it is awful, just because we believe this is what will keep us happy even in our misery. What funny human beings we are. Moving is imperative not just because it is unavoidable, but mostly because it is life giving. The song I Dare You to Move by Switchfoot says this as well as anyone can. What happens when one can't move. Those with physical challenges still move. They do so as much and as often as possible because it is so life giving for them. See the reality is that this is a brand new day, and how we choose to live it really is our choice. I hope you will be moved to closer relationships to others yourself and what is beyond us.

The simple truth is that every time I am with someone else I see someone amazing. I hear of life in a different way. Whether the encounter is brief energetic long depleting or even redundant it is someone else there connected engaged interacting and present. This is in itself worthwhile blessed and exceedingly meaningful. It may even make a difference to the other person as well. WOW!

No matter how this moment finds you, I trust you find this moment God Breathed!!!  I pray this day moves you in direct connection with others and God's amazing grace.

An Invitation to Invite

Bridge's Executive Director, Jack Staudt, recently gave a Temple Talk at his home church, Holy Spirit Lutheran (HSLC). Here he invites his fellow congregants to join him in thinking about how to invite people who live with disabilities. 

Compassion and Disabilities 

HSLC Temple Talk                                                 

February 17, 2013

What is Compassion ? 

It is = Empathy = Kindness = Concern = Consideration …. + Love.

LOVE… a word I regard as necessary in a conversation about Compassion … is a popular word in the Bible.

The word “Love” is in the King James Version 280 times– and in the New International Version Bible 508 times. (Perhaps our more modern translations see our God as even more Loving?)

I am going to share with you some thoughts about compassion and love for people who are perceived to be, different from 'us'. As you may know I work for Bridge Disability Ministries, and I am a member of the Holy Spirit Inclusion Ministry. So my message in this Temple Talk, is about compassion for those among us who live with disabilities.

What about Love, for those who appear different from what we call “normal”, those who live with a Disability. Are they to be less loved?  Our Lord gives us a clear instruction in I Cor. 12: 21-22, NIV:

People with disabilities make up the single largest minority in our country. They are also the poorest the most unemployed and often most dependent upon others to live a full and rewarding life. Because of these limitations they are also the most isolated, and the most invisible population. But this minority group is also one that you and I can become part of today.

All of us as members of Holy Spirit Lutheran Church can be very proud of the inclusive nature of our congregation. This church has become far more inclusive, far more receptive to those who are different in any way … and yet the same in every way … in the eyes of our Lord Jesus Christ. But there is more that we can do.

I'm going to quote some thoughts that come from a book written by a former Pastor and a person who has spent many years in service to people living with disabilities; The Lost Mandate:  A Christ Command Revealed,  by Dan’l C. Markham.

“It’s a real surprise to learn that of the 35 recorded miracles of Jesus in the New Testament, three were people Jesus raised from the dead and nine were miracles which broke the natural laws of physics – including turning water into wine, feeding the 5000, walking on water and calming a storm. The remaining 23 miracles involved people with disabilities: six involve mental illness and the remaining 17 involve physical issues such as blindness, deafness, paralysis, a withered hand and leprosy. That gives a clue to the heart of God for people with disabilities and an indication of the priority He gave them. In fact there are 43 direct references to disability ministry in the Gospels and many more indirect references – 16 in Matthew, 9 in Mark, 16 in Luke, and 2 in John…”  *

One of those references is in the story of the Great banquet in Luke 14:

In The Lost Mandate, Dan’l Markham says this Bible passage in Luke is central to our understanding of Jesus call to serve and to love our neighbors.

“The Holy Spirit might be saying something like this:

'Go out with my fervor to bring the lost into my house, my Church. And make sure you go with priority and with the greatest zeal to those who are the most marginalized - the poor and those affected by disability, who are the poorest of the poor.   There is no more important task for you to undertake for me.' " *

So you might ask, “What does this mean to me, what am I to do? Holy Spirit Lutheran is already 'Inclusive' of all people”.

Again, from The Lost Mandate I found this insight:

“…. Ministry (and church mission support) is made a reality by offerings of time, talent, and treasure.  … Pastor Billy Burnett, of Joni and Friends, adds the all-important word to this list –  touch. Disability ministry is much more than providing wheelchairs and retreats for people affected by disability. It ultimately is personal ministry to people with disabilities, bringing them into our circle of life both socially and spiritually, and seeking permission to be brought into their circle. It is most importantly “being with”. *

So I leave you with this final thought. Let's break up the word compassion, and think of it as two words, Come and Passion. Let us invite people to Come and then display the Passion to engage them. Go out, as the Master instructed, and invite those who live with disabilities to the banquet of joy in Holy Spirit Lutheran Church, and bring in those who might not feel invited, those who have not yet been welcomed.

And then, as Our Lord Jesus commands us, show love for your neighbor, by simply being present with them.

Jack Staudt         

Holy Spirit Lutheran Church

*From The Lost Mandate  by Dan'l C. Markham  (2012-11-26).  

Where Everybody Knows Your Name

Ardis looked at me with her bright, intelligent eyes as she labored to express her thoughts. When I had difficulty understanding something she said, she patiently repeated it until I got it. She is in her 60's now, and lives with cerebral palsy. She has a lot of pain, extremely limited mobility, requires the use of a walker to get around, and has difficulty communicating due to poor oral motor control. I've seldom encountered a person with her patience, persistence and compassion towards others despite her own challenges.

Over nearly 20 years of involvement with Bridge, Ardis has met many people she would not have otherwise known. Bridge expanded her world, and gave her an extended family. Originally, she was attracted to the Christian values of the organization, and was particularly appreciative of Bridge's advocacy for people living with disabilities and treating them with dignity. And more recently, she found herself turning to her Bridge family for support during a period of crisis in her own family.

Her sister and brother-in-law are very important people in Ardis' life, and over the years have provided support of all kinds, including emotional support and transportation so she can get out of the house, run errands, and just visit. When her brother-in-law and her sister were diagnosed with serious illnesses one after the other, she became very fearful and anxious about her future. At the Roots ‘n Wings Support group meetings, she was able to work through her feelings of anxiety about possibly ending up alone and isolated as her family had less time and energy for her. She shared her fear of facing her own mortality, and that of those she loves. She was learning to be more independent, talking to friends about her concerns instead of only sharing them with her family.

Ardis said she was very grateful to have a group of friends who ‘get it’ and who care about her to connect with on a regular basis at Roots’ n’ Wings, and a community to connect with at the Celebrations. She likes seeing folks she knows, and going where folks she knows will welcome her. She likes catching up on everybody’s news and sharing hers. She feels better when she shares her feelings and gets caring feedback. And it makes her feel good to make her friends feel better by listening to them, and telling them she cares, sharing her wisdom and experience.

Her family also told her they were glad she had Bridge to lean on during the hard times when they were unable to be there for her. We hear this kind of thing a lot from people at Bridge. We see people going to great lengths to attend our gatherings and participate in the Bridge community. They need to connect with people who both understand and want to accompany them on their journey. A shared load feels lighter on the shoulders, and being truly seen and acknowledged is priceless.

When people ask what we do at Bridge, it can be difficult to sum it up quickly in a way that folks can understand. I recall our Executive Director invoking the TV show Cheers to explain what we do once. Okay, we don’t have a pub and there’s no alcohol in the drinks we serve, unless there’s a bit of communion wine maybe. But I looked up the lyrics to the theme song and found that, once again, it’s not what’s different about people living with disabilities that matters – it’s what’s the same for all of us that counts. And I think most of us can probably relate to these words:

Making your way in the world today takes everything you've got. 

Taking a break from all your worries, sure would help a lot. 

Wouldn't you like to get away? 

Sometimes you want to go 

Where everybody knows your name, 

and they're always glad you came. 

You wanna be where you can see, 

our troubles are all the same 

You wanna be where everybody knows 

Your name.