An Invitation to Invite

Bridge's Executive Director, Jack Staudt, recently gave a Temple Talk at his home church, Holy Spirit Lutheran (HSLC). Here he invites his fellow congregants to join him in thinking about how to invite people who live with disabilities. 

Compassion and Disabilities 

HSLC Temple Talk                                                 

February 17, 2013

What is Compassion ? 

It is = Empathy = Kindness = Concern = Consideration …. + Love.

LOVE… a word I regard as necessary in a conversation about Compassion … is a popular word in the Bible.

The word “Love” is in the King James Version 280 times– and in the New International Version Bible 508 times. (Perhaps our more modern translations see our God as even more Loving?)

I am going to share with you some thoughts about compassion and love for people who are perceived to be, different from 'us'. As you may know I work for Bridge Disability Ministries, and I am a member of the Holy Spirit Inclusion Ministry. So my message in this Temple Talk, is about compassion for those among us who live with disabilities.

What about Love, for those who appear different from what we call “normal”, those who live with a Disability. Are they to be less loved?  Our Lord gives us a clear instruction in I Cor. 12: 21-22, NIV:

People with disabilities make up the single largest minority in our country. They are also the poorest the most unemployed and often most dependent upon others to live a full and rewarding life. Because of these limitations they are also the most isolated, and the most invisible population. But this minority group is also one that you and I can become part of today.

All of us as members of Holy Spirit Lutheran Church can be very proud of the inclusive nature of our congregation. This church has become far more inclusive, far more receptive to those who are different in any way … and yet the same in every way … in the eyes of our Lord Jesus Christ. But there is more that we can do.

I'm going to quote some thoughts that come from a book written by a former Pastor and a person who has spent many years in service to people living with disabilities; The Lost Mandate:  A Christ Command Revealed,  by Dan’l C. Markham.

“It’s a real surprise to learn that of the 35 recorded miracles of Jesus in the New Testament, three were people Jesus raised from the dead and nine were miracles which broke the natural laws of physics – including turning water into wine, feeding the 5000, walking on water and calming a storm. The remaining 23 miracles involved people with disabilities: six involve mental illness and the remaining 17 involve physical issues such as blindness, deafness, paralysis, a withered hand and leprosy. That gives a clue to the heart of God for people with disabilities and an indication of the priority He gave them. In fact there are 43 direct references to disability ministry in the Gospels and many more indirect references – 16 in Matthew, 9 in Mark, 16 in Luke, and 2 in John…”  *

One of those references is in the story of the Great banquet in Luke 14:

In The Lost Mandate, Dan’l Markham says this Bible passage in Luke is central to our understanding of Jesus call to serve and to love our neighbors.

“The Holy Spirit might be saying something like this:

'Go out with my fervor to bring the lost into my house, my Church. And make sure you go with priority and with the greatest zeal to those who are the most marginalized - the poor and those affected by disability, who are the poorest of the poor.   There is no more important task for you to undertake for me.' " *

So you might ask, “What does this mean to me, what am I to do? Holy Spirit Lutheran is already 'Inclusive' of all people”.

Again, from The Lost Mandate I found this insight:

“…. Ministry (and church mission support) is made a reality by offerings of time, talent, and treasure.  … Pastor Billy Burnett, of Joni and Friends, adds the all-important word to this list –  touch. Disability ministry is much more than providing wheelchairs and retreats for people affected by disability. It ultimately is personal ministry to people with disabilities, bringing them into our circle of life both socially and spiritually, and seeking permission to be brought into their circle. It is most importantly “being with”. *

So I leave you with this final thought. Let's break up the word compassion, and think of it as two words, Come and Passion. Let us invite people to Come and then display the Passion to engage them. Go out, as the Master instructed, and invite those who live with disabilities to the banquet of joy in Holy Spirit Lutheran Church, and bring in those who might not feel invited, those who have not yet been welcomed.

And then, as Our Lord Jesus commands us, show love for your neighbor, by simply being present with them.

Jack Staudt         

Holy Spirit Lutheran Church

*From The Lost Mandate  by Dan'l C. Markham  (2012-11-26).  

Where Everybody Knows Your Name

Ardis looked at me with her bright, intelligent eyes as she labored to express her thoughts. When I had difficulty understanding something she said, she patiently repeated it until I got it. She is in her 60's now, and lives with cerebral palsy. She has a lot of pain, extremely limited mobility, requires the use of a walker to get around, and has difficulty communicating due to poor oral motor control. I've seldom encountered a person with her patience, persistence and compassion towards others despite her own challenges.

Over nearly 20 years of involvement with Bridge, Ardis has met many people she would not have otherwise known. Bridge expanded her world, and gave her an extended family. Originally, she was attracted to the Christian values of the organization, and was particularly appreciative of Bridge's advocacy for people living with disabilities and treating them with dignity. And more recently, she found herself turning to her Bridge family for support during a period of crisis in her own family.

Her sister and brother-in-law are very important people in Ardis' life, and over the years have provided support of all kinds, including emotional support and transportation so she can get out of the house, run errands, and just visit. When her brother-in-law and her sister were diagnosed with serious illnesses one after the other, she became very fearful and anxious about her future. At the Roots ‘n Wings Support group meetings, she was able to work through her feelings of anxiety about possibly ending up alone and isolated as her family had less time and energy for her. She shared her fear of facing her own mortality, and that of those she loves. She was learning to be more independent, talking to friends about her concerns instead of only sharing them with her family.

Ardis said she was very grateful to have a group of friends who ‘get it’ and who care about her to connect with on a regular basis at Roots’ n’ Wings, and a community to connect with at the Celebrations. She likes seeing folks she knows, and going where folks she knows will welcome her. She likes catching up on everybody’s news and sharing hers. She feels better when she shares her feelings and gets caring feedback. And it makes her feel good to make her friends feel better by listening to them, and telling them she cares, sharing her wisdom and experience.

Her family also told her they were glad she had Bridge to lean on during the hard times when they were unable to be there for her. We hear this kind of thing a lot from people at Bridge. We see people going to great lengths to attend our gatherings and participate in the Bridge community. They need to connect with people who both understand and want to accompany them on their journey. A shared load feels lighter on the shoulders, and being truly seen and acknowledged is priceless.

When people ask what we do at Bridge, it can be difficult to sum it up quickly in a way that folks can understand. I recall our Executive Director invoking the TV show Cheers to explain what we do once. Okay, we don’t have a pub and there’s no alcohol in the drinks we serve, unless there’s a bit of communion wine maybe. But I looked up the lyrics to the theme song and found that, once again, it’s not what’s different about people living with disabilities that matters – it’s what’s the same for all of us that counts. And I think most of us can probably relate to these words:

Making your way in the world today takes everything you've got. 

Taking a break from all your worries, sure would help a lot. 

Wouldn't you like to get away? 

Sometimes you want to go 

Where everybody knows your name, 

and they're always glad you came. 

You wanna be where you can see, 

our troubles are all the same 

You wanna be where everybody knows 

Your name. 

Dem Bones: Ancient Compassion Revealed

"It's survival of the fittest." "We need to keep the bloodline strong." "Back in the day they wouldn't have been allowed to live." "It's really kinder to put them out of their misery." All my life I've heard people justify cruelty and injustice by invoking these all too familiar phrases when the subject of severe disability comes up. You've probably heard it too. Since the days of anonymous internet postings began, I see it even more. Some of the comments I've seen harken back to the days of  the Nazis who considered euthanasia to be a viable government policy.

English translation: 60,000 reichsmarks - This is what this person suffering from hereditary defects costs the Community of Germans during his lifetime Fellow Citizen, that is your money, too.

Now, I knew I didn't agree with this philosophy, even since childhood. As a Christian I believe it is wrong and abhorrent in the eyes of God. And I certainly knew it wasn't up to me to decide who should live and who should die. But, to be honest, I did have to grudgingly acknowledge that there might be some truth to the belief so many have that people living with disabilities were unwanted, possibly even abandoned, starved or killed, by ancient humans. After all, life used to be very difficult for people in hunter-gatherer societies. I knew that from first hand experience growing up in Alaska.

I've endured enough harsh weather camping outdoors, put in enough long days catching my supper with a fishing pole, hauled enough water, chopped down enough trees for fires, and endured enough scratches among the berry bushes to know - it ain't easy living entirely off the land! Heck, I had Gore Tex and the Army Navy Store, and it was still a lot of hard work! You're lucky if you obtain enough calories in a day to equal the number you work off!

And taking care of someone completely dependent on you in those conditions? Forget about it! Shortly after my kids came along, I pretty much abandoned all that nonsense. Although I enjoyed camping, hunting, fishing and gathering wild berries and mushrooms while I was younger, camping with two young children by myself cured me of any romantic ideas about living off the land I still had. After a week of hauling water from the creek, heating it on a wood stove, and killing myself trying to keep the kids safe, clean, warm and fed, I beat feet back to my modern house in the city - forever after grateful for hot running water, electric baseboard heat, and grocery stores!

So yeah, even though I don't believe we should do it now, I could see how ancient humans might have been harsh and merciless towards people living with disabilities. Especially knowing as I do that many are that way today. As the parent of a teenage boy who lives with autism and a communication disorder, I've unfortunately had plenty of opportunities to see the ugly side of human nature. Therefore it was pretty easy to imagine that people who had to work extremely hard to survive might be even worse.

After lifetime exposure to this grim view of ancient humans therefore, it was with great pleasure that I recently read an article about an archaeological study that flew entirely in the face of that belief. A dig in Southeast Asia revealed a group of Neolithic humans who demonstrated great compassion for an individual who lived with a severe disability - even by today's standards.

The well-preserved burial site of an adult male in his 30's was uncovered and the body examined. It was discovered that he had lived with a congenital spinal disorder that rendered him immobile below the waist and radically limited his upper body mobility. He also had a fixed right rotation of his head and a condition called torticollis (neck twists one way, chin another). It's likely that even chewing would have been very difficult for him.

After examining the skeletal remains thoroughly, archaeologists came to the conclusion that this man could not have survived into adulthood without constant care and nursing. At a time when the average age of death was before 40, he lived a full lifespan. Yet with his condition, I read, he would have been totally dependent on others for every aspect of daily living. Wow! This was exciting! Proof that compassionate humans existed even in ancient societies!

Reading the report of the archaeological dig had me wondering - who took care of this boy well into manhood? Was it his mother? Both parents? His entire family? Did it extend to other members of the tribe? Was it the entire tribe supporting and caring for this man? My guess would be all, or nearly all, of the tribe had to be involved. Judging by my camping experience with my kids, it would have been too difficult for one or a few people to carry the load of his care and support on their own in Neolithic times.

Although it's interesting to speculate on the details, it's clear that ancient humans did have compassion and care for tribal members who lived with disabilities after all. So the next time someone uses one of those Social Darwinist catch-phrases I mentioned above in my presence, I'll just point them to this Neolithic tribe in Vietnam and tell them to think again.

Say, you could try that too! Perhaps if we all do this, people will eventually stop using imagined cruelty among ancient humans to justify real modern day cruelty and injustice. Maybe they'll see that humans have the potential for both cruelty and compassion. Perhaps they'll even realize that we should appeal to the best in each other rather than the worst. Hey, it could happen! It's worth a try.

Finally, all of you, be like-minded, be sympathetic, love one another, be compassionate and humble. 1 Peter 3:8

Loving Life

In the midst of God's love I find my life.

In the midst of my life I find God's love!

I went to Maryland for a prayer retreat a couple of weeks ago.  I took the red eye from Seatac at 5pm and arrived in Maryland early the next morning.  I arrived the day before Hurricane Sandy hit.  I got to the retreat center in the afternoon and spent the early part of the afternoon, before the retreat began, in the Peace Garden in the middle of the trees with the wind blowing and the leaves falling, but the storm yet to come on shore.

I remembered another hurricane that I traveled through some 35 years before.  While living in Tokyo as a high school student my brother and I were invited with a Danish friend of ours to go on a bicycle trip around the northern island of Hokkaido by one of the local college students.  We jumped at the chance and prepared for the trip.  The day we were scheduled to depart by boat a hurricane hit shore (typhoon actually, being in the Pacific).  We had to ride our bikes to the boat and we did so in the eye of the storm.  Of course the eye passed before we actually made it to the boat, but we did get to the there safe and sound, albeit wet and wind-blown.

The trip around Hokkaido was incredible.  It was a once in a lifetime experience and well worth the risk and excitement of riding our bikes through a storm to get there.

When I headed out to Maryland for the retreat, people asked - surely you aren't going out there.  The storm will make the event impossible.  The retreat I attended was on Courage and Hope in contemplative leadership.  For the forty of us gathered together we couldn't imagine a better focus or a more fitting consideration than this theme in the middle of a storm.  Once again it was well worth the risk and excitement to get to this profound and life enhancing experience.

This activity just reminded me so deeply of what I already was so aware, with the love of God completely and totally involved in all aspects of my life and the lives of those around me in every moment of everyday.  That the big moments of crisis are merely a very real part of a greater whole of life.  That the common, mundane, everyday, seemingly meaningless routine is filled with blessings and incredible joy.  That each and every moment is a gift filled with possibilities and hope waiting to be seen and realized.

So often I fail to be aware of this very important truth: God is as close as God will ever be in this moment right here right now.  We don't need a crisis to see that God is at our beck and call.  We don't need our ongoing familiar routines as a distraction from this impactful truth.  God's love is truly in the midst of my life all the time.  All the time my life is in the midst of God's love.

This moment is not about abilities or lack of abilities; it is not about issues or illness; it is not about struggles or accomplishments; this moment is about the grace of God, the love of Christ, and the connections we share in God's Spirit.  This is not merely a focus for a ministry - sharing the love of Christ with folks with disabilities and those without.  This is the focus of life that makes life worth living for everyone!

Disability of the Heart

We hear a lot of talk about many different kinds of disabilities: Physical disabilities people are born with or that result from an accident, developmental disabilities that can have a mental and/or physical impact from birth or early childhood, and a variety of mental illnesses that can render a person unable to function as expected in mainstream society. But one thing we don't hear much about is disability of the heart.

Disability of the heart, or DOH, is that disability so many unfortunate people have that keeps them from caring about their fellow human beings. It makes them care only about themselves, their status in society and having a good time. It is a very serious disability, and I think it's about time we focus on it more, because it actually has a greater negative impact on the world than all the other disabilities put together ever could.

A person who has DOH may appear to be normal. They may be very successful financially, have great careers, beautiful homes, relationships and families. They may be very popular and widely admired for their accomplishments. They may even be regular church attendees who think of themselves as Christian! It is only upon closer inspection or in hindsight that people realize something very important is missing in them: Concern for their fellow human beings.

People with DOH can be found at all levels of society, but they tend to be fond of positions of power, prestige and influence, so they can often be found in leadership positions in places such as government or municipal or school district offices as elected or appointed officials or supervisors. And it's not unusual to find the 'fox in the henhouse', so to speak, where ironically the person with DOH is actually placed in charge of vulnerable populations.

People with DOH have even been famous world leaders. Sometimes it's not until they start killing masses of 'imperfect' or 'undesirable' people and burying them in piles in big holes in the ground that other people perceive their DOH. This is unacceptable. We need to get better at detecting this problem early and giving these people help overcoming their disability, because when it is unchecked and taken to its extremes it becomes a much bigger problem.

There are many ways we can identify people with DOH, and one of the easiest is their treatment of those who live with other types of disabilities. Maybe by something they do, such as cutting program budgets for people with disabilities in their workplace, church or government. Perhaps they take steps to exclude people with disabilities from their school, workplace or church. Perhaps they simply choose to harm where they could help, or withhold needed assistance where they could opt to provide it if they wished. Sometimes you can identify them by things they say. For example, if you ever hear people talking about how those with disabilities are a burden on society, and they never should have been allowed to live or should be put out of their misery, just know that you are hearing folks who have DOH and need intervention.

In fact, we need to create an early intervention program for people with DOH, the same as we do for other disabilities. We need to catch them while they are young, and set them on the right path. The first time one of them bullies people with other disabilities or tries to exclude them from activities, we should write up an Individual Education Plan for them and get them on the road to understanding - at least, as much as is possible for them. And, of course, by identifying these folks we will ensure that the rest of us will know we need to make allowances for their disability.

We need to develop special educational programming for people with DOH, such as Empathy Training Programs and the Science of Altruism. The program should include volunteer service in hospitals, schools and other institutions that serve those with disabilities so that they can witness the complex challenges these folks face, and hopefully realize their commonalities and learn to appreciate them as human beings. Those elements that are missing in their makeup need to be deliberately trained into these students. It is only in this way that they have a chance of becoming fully functional participants in our society - at least in a way that is good for society as a whole.

When they complete school we can evaluate the DOH students and determine if their education has helped them overcome their disability sufficiently to function constructively in society. The higher functioning DOH students may be able to function fairly well independently in a number of capacities. However, DOH is a disability, and not every person who has it will succeed at overcoming it to any great degree. For those who cannot, an appropriate job placement in a properly supervised work environment can minimize any negative impact on others in society.

In all we do, we need to remember that DOH is a disability, and we must treat those who have this disability with compassion - guide them, care for them, and above all, pray for them. It's not their fault they have this disability, and we shouldn't blame or berate them for it. We must include them in our churches and offer them spiritual training to try to help them develop empathy.

But one thing for certain, putting someone with DOH in positions of power or leadership is a dangerous thing. We must be very careful because the consequences of making a mistake can be grave. They could hurt themselves or others; most likely both. We must never forget that they are missing that basic fundamental trait that is essential in a good and effective leader - Compassion.

Be kind and compassionate to one another, 

forgiving each other, 

just as in Christ God forgave you.

Ephesians 4:32

Sitting Ducks

Earlier this week I saw a bizarre news story about a naked man attacking a girl who has autism and her brother at a local park. They were walking around a lake together while their father rode around on a bike. Out of the blue, a man no one knew suddenly charged the girl, knocked her down to the ground, and attacked her brother when he came to her aid. When the police came and tried to arrest him, he jumped in the lake and tried to swim away from them. They had quite a job taking him into custody.

I recognized the family in the news video as people we serve at Bridge. This family frequently attends our events, and I had just seen them at our most recent event on August 12th. So I gave the father a call yesterday to check on them and make sure they were doing okay. It was interesting to hear the story of what happened that day from his perspective.

Because of his own disability the father could not walk far, so he rode a bike around the lake while his teenage kids walked around. They'd walked about a quarter of the way around the lake when he made his first circuit. It was a calm, peaceful day, and they were enjoying the fine summer weather.

By the time he rode around a second time and caught up to them, the scene had changed dramatically. There was a fire truck there, a woman he didn't know was comforting his daughter who was on the ground, and his son was bleeding from a split lip. He was shocked to learn what had happened in the few minutes it took him to bike around the lake a second time. It had all happened in broad daylight with many people right in the area watching. It was entirely unprovoked, and they had no idea why they were attacked.

When I asked him why he thought the attacker did it, he responded that he thought the man had a mental illness and needed help. He bore him no ill will despite what he had done, and hoped he would get the help he needed. He went on to tell me there were lots of people at the lake enjoying the beautiful day: Elderly people, people walking with canes, small children, people of all ages and abilities. He thought of all the vulnerable people he saw that day; people who could be easily hurt by an attacker.

Sitting Ducks.

After our conversation I reflected on the fact that we are all, in a sense, Sitting Ducks in this world. There are many forces beyond our control which can injure us and from which we have no defense. Whether it's illness, disease, aging, accidents, natural disasters, injustice, foul play or attackers, we are all vulnerable all the time. We never know when misfortune may befall us, when we may be hurt in some way or even killed. And there is often no rhyme or reason to it, no rational process by which we could avoid harm - we're just blindsided - like this father riding a bike at a busy park on a sunny day.

Like him we may have the sense that we're safe, and it can be a great shock when something happens to shake our sense of security. These are times that can challenge our faith. Especially if we pray, and many of us do, for God's protection. We may then ask ourselves, why didn't God protect me? Why did God let someone or something harm me? We may strain to see the sense in it, and search for a way to explain it: Maybe God allowed this so that I would become more aware of and compassionate towards victims like myself and their needs -  maybe I'm supposed to do something to help these people. There must be some reason.

Or we may look for a way to prevent it. This father said he thought they needed more police at the lakeside park to protect the people who come there. I remember musing that the attacker obviously was not making rational decisions, so I wasn't sure police presence would make a difference in that case.

It's not a comfortable being a Sitting Duck.

We human beings prefer certainty, safety, a feeling of invulnerability. We Christians often like to feel that we have God on our side and that nothing can hurt us because The Almighty has our back. When bad things happen to us we cry out: Why has God allowed a bad thing to happen to a good person?! How could a family already struggling with the challenges of disability being attacked possibly be a good thing on any level?! It's easy to get wound up thinking about things like this, and not really feel like you're getting anywhere. 

Perhaps a better question for us to ask is: Why does God allow good things to happen to bad people? After all, every one of us falls short of the glory of God, and yet God offered the beloved Son as a sacrifice that we might have eternal life.

In the final analysis, we are not God and we don't have God's omniscience. Therefore, we cannot know why God allows things to happen the way they do. We can only have faith that, whatever the reason, if it's God's will there is a good reason. We are called to place our hope and trust in God, regardless of the vagaries of life.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart
   and lean not on your own understanding;
 in all your ways submit to God,
    who will direct your paths."                                                                                               

                                                          Proverbs 3:5-6 

Summer Time

                       
It is great to have fun.  For some folks having fun is great work.  Organizing all the aspects of the food, the tables, the details can be a bit of a task.  I hear often that we want to make sure we get everything covered and that everything works.  We trust this is true and we strive hard to make this happen.
  

Still, whatever takes place in the perfect completion of hard sought plans, or intermittent mishaps that cause concern and turmoil for a time, each event happens with joy and celebration!

I can’t help but think back to an interview I heard with an Olympic athlete last night on the television  where the question was posed to the athlete something like this:  You worked hard and you were just a heartbeat from getting the gold medal in your event you must be devastated.  To which the athlete just joyously replied - I was just so thankful to be able to compete in these games, and to have a medal is such an honor and a joy.

This is it, isn’t it?  We strive to do great things and make everything work to the best of our abilities!  Still, it comes down to the same thing over and over again:  it is great that we have this day, this party, picnic, or barbeque.  It is great that we have this moment to be who we are where we are as we are.  Celebrating this together is the joy we have through our faith in Jesus Christ.  “God made us as we are;” we are sheep of God’s pasture says the writer of my favorite psalm.

This is our goal to “make a joyful noise to the Lord all the earth!!!”  We come as we were made, as ourselves, to joyfully share together: 

“For the Lord is good;

God’s steadfast love endures for ever,

and God’s faithfulness to all generations.” 

We are here as we are, where we are, who we are, forever!!!

“Give Thanks to God, Bless God’s Holy Name!” Psalm 100